Monday, January 6, 2014

Ultimate Reset: Day 3, 4, and 5 Review

The Ultimate Reset has been more than just a strict diet, it has been an adventure through many various avenues of my life that seem to have been closed off for some time, as well as a huge learning experience when it comes to food. Before you read this entry I want you to know, that despite all of this I would STILL recommend this 21 day journey to anyone.

Days 3 & 4 were largely uneventful, if I'm going to be honest. Beside a small swing in moods on Day 3 early in the morning, nothing out of the ordinary occured. Day 4 I felt very light, very happy, and found myself still anxious to explore certain feelings or thoughts that I was having. It wasn't until the night of Day 4 that things took a turn for the worst.

Bought some "relaxation techniques"
I was tired, very tired, so I laid my head down hoping that I would get a good night's sleep as I FINALLY had the night before. When I laid down, fear crept into me surrounding my business. What if I failed? What if I screw up? What does that mean for me and my family? Now, usually I can push these thoughts aside and use them to fuel my fire for greatness; however, this night they were NOT letting up and getting the best of me. The Ultimate Reset book that you receive with your package says that this is normal, and it is best to just explore these thoughts and work through them. Often times, thoughts and feelings that we have supressed find a way to show themselves during the 21 days. As our body detoxes, so does our mind and often times it is these thoughts that we push aside, but they end up building up. The book said to just experience them so I started texting my husband. Naturally, his loving words made me feel much better and I did eventually go to sleep.

Yeah..that's not good.
That was until the morning hit. I was exhausted. The dogs were keeping me up at this point so I asked my husband to let them out. He did and he never came back to bed. When I went downstairs I found him playing a video game and became enraged. Yes. Enraged. I yelled and screamed and ended up kicking one of my dog's ceramic dishes across the floor. It crashed into a railing in my kitchen, smashed into a million pieces and landing all over my door (who did nothing wrong). I stopped and it was as if I woke up from a trance and I ran to my husband, sat on him, and hysterically began to cry. It was that moment that I thought, "That's it. This Reset is OVER!"

Him being the saint that he is carried me upstairs and talked to me about what was really going on. I started talking about things that have bothered me for a while, but I just haven't admitted (like the video game playing more frequently than I would like - It made me feel like I wasn't a priority over the game), or issues about the dogs, etc. etc. It was a TERRIBLE day. I HATED.....HAAAATED myself and the only way for me to escape was to just sleep. I wanted nothing to do with myself or the day at all.
Dinner was DELICIOUS!

When I woke up I decided to do some P90X3 Pilates (which were great, by the way) and that helped me to feel a bit better. I cleared my mind as I prepared a delicious meal from the Reset and began prepping for the next day. Later that night, while guiding my dog out the backdoor so she could use the restroom (she's old and has trouble) she fell, rolled down the steps, and just laid on the patio looking up on me. Again, hysterics. I felt like the worst pet mom ever, and still sort of do today. Then the feelings of "She's not going to be with us much longer" crept in, which caused more issues. All in all....TERRIBLE EMOTIONAL DAY. But I am hoping that the release of these emotions will help me to move on from them.

Writing this it is now Day 6, and I can tell you that I did sleep last night, I did wake up refreshed, and while I do not feel 100% happy still, I am worlds better than I was yesterday. I am hoping when I check in tomorrow it is a better day to report.

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