Are You A Lighthouse, Or A Storm Cloud?

Every day you are going to find yourself in situations that involve other individuals whether it be at work, with your family, in the market, or even on-line. People feed off of people. We feed off of the other energies that are present around us, and yes, even through the computer screen. Have you ever been a round a group of people and you leave feeling like all of the air was sucked out of you? You don't leave feeling revived and upbeat, you leave feeling deflated and miserable! Or have you ever been around a group of people where you leave you feel like you are light as a feather, can't stop smiling, and it is one of those times where you have been away for them from five minutes and you are already texting them planning the next meeting?

Since we feed off of one another, each encounter YOU have YOU need to make the choice: am I going to be the lighthouse, or just another storm cloud?  Don't be that person in the group that is negative or cynical. Don't be the person who drags the rest of the group down and ruins the situation. Be the lighthouse! The one that shines THROUGH the darkness, the one that people LOOK FOR when times get tough! When you change your attitude to a positive one and consistently share that attitude with others, you will help them to create a more positive live thus creating a ripple effect.

Try it!

How to Achieve Success through Reverse Engineering

When I share my vision board for a new year in January to my social media audience, it is most commonly met with cheers of support from my friends. I mean, that's only natural right? You always want to support your friends and their goals. What surprises people the most, however, is when I post the vision board again at the end of the year showing what I had accomplished, and what still is left to be taken care of.

The difference between goal attainment and dreams is action taken on part of the individual. You can plan for hours, days, or even months on how you are going to develop a life that you feel that you deserve, but it will never amount to anything or go anywhere without action by YOU.

So how do I achieve everything I set out to do? I plan and I permit myself to have some fun in the meantime.

Life doesn't have to be so serious all the time, that's why my vision boards always contain business strategic goals, and fun little goals for myself.  But regardless if it's a business goal, a personal goal, or just a fun goal that you have set for yourself you need to plan.

The first step is writing down exactly what it is that you want.  What do YOU want? I'm not asking what other people want FOR you, I'm asking you what you want. This is not a list you have to show others, you can keep it to yourself. But get honest about it.

The second step is putting a date on it. When do YOU want it by? Now, some people will say go way outside of your comfort zone with this, but this is a step that I usually spend the most time on because I want my goals to be challenging, but not so much so that they seem impossible. When creating a goal, think about what you have now, what you will have in the future, and the amount of time you have to work on achieving it.  Most importantly, and this can be hard, but how much heart do you have behind it, because that is going to determine a lot of what you are willing to sacrifice to get there.

The third step is to write down everything you can think of that is needed to achieve that goal. This is called reverse engineering and is a step that is most often skipped, but one of THE MOST VALUABLE steps to take. This lays it all out for you. This gives you a clear picture of EXACTLY what you need to do. It is the rough draft of the story that you are about to create. After doing this, you might need to adjust your dates a little bit and that's okay, just make sure you are not laxing on yourself to the point where you will get lazy.

The final step: take action. Take massive action to make it happen. Take one goal at a time, look at it reverse engineered, and think of how you can take one step per day (or more) towards achieving those small items on the to do list of your goal. 

At first it's overwhelming, but practice makes perfect. Not to mention, every goal you mark off is a boost to your own self confidence, and your own belief in yourself which will push you further through life to achieve things you never thought possible.

Sharing a gift with YOU!

Woohoo! It is an exciting day!

I am officially opening my 2013 health & fitness challenge groups today! Many of you are probably asking, "What the heck is a challenge group?" Well, I am here to tell you!

A challenge group is a small group of individuals who are dedicated to a common cause. In my case, the cause is health and fitness. My start came from a challenge group, and not only did I get great results during that time that I was in the group, but the results carried me on to new and exciting aspects of health and fitness.

A little about myself: I loved fast food. Loved it. I hated the way that I looked, though. I wasn't fat, but I was....puffy? Like, not fat but not toned, either. I would dabble around with workouts here and there. I got the gym memberships and would go and be a gym rat (see no results bc I didn't really have much knowledge at that time..just figured elipitcal and some weights here and there), did a ton of home fitness programs including Denise Austin, TaeBo, Carmen Electra...you name it, I probably have the DVD...but nothing ever really STUCK. I would always find myself hopping to the new trend, the new pill, the new WHATEVER and here I still sat...puffy and miserable.

My friend had asked me to join this accountability group and I figured, what the hell. It's January 2012..yet again, I'll try something new. This was a change! I got to be held accountable from my home office (no driving to meetings or embarrassing weigh ins), the accountability portion took me MAYBE 5 minutes out of my day, and these women were all so motivating and encouraging! There was no one watching me run in the mirror at the gym trying to be inconspicuous. There was no guy checking me out when all I wanted to do was work out. There were no time limits on machines, or now $39.95 each month for a gym membership that I stopped using. There was no driving to the gym after work, or on a Saturday morning. And there was no snarkiness from the members of the group.

This.Was. Awesome!

I was able to workout from home through a program that my coach recommended to me after I talked to her about my likes and dislikes..and what was great about that was that I actually enjoyed doing what I was doing. I wanted to pop in that day's DVD each and every day. And that kept me going. That mixed with the positivity from the group kept me going for ONCE in my life!!

Then I decided to do the same. I became a coach, and have been running fitness challenges throughout 2012 and gotten my challengers AMAZING results, and I take the challenge right along with you so it's not just you doing that workout that day..I'm doing the same one in my home!

So if you are READY to stop dabbling around and getting nowhere, if you are puffy, if you are unhappy with your appearance, if you are just looking for something that WORKS and somewhere where you can find all of the missing pieces to your puzzle, if you are looking for something that takes your time constraints into consideration...then please e-mail me (nik4213@gmail.com). I know, I know...you don't know me, it's weird emailing someone you don't know..but I swear to you I'm the most easy-going person you will ever talk to, haha, and I truly want to give everyone the chance that I got this time last year. My life has changed DRAMATICALLY and it all started from just making a choice to try a challenge group. 

I hope to hear from you! And if not, have the happiest of holidays, whichever one you might celebrate, and nothing but the best for you in 2013!

Never Giving Up is Half the Battle

In life it is very easy to give up.  We give up on saving money, because we'd rather have what we "want". We give up on marriages, because they seem doomed and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We give up on our goals and our dreams because the road that leads us to them seems about as difficult as trying to climb Mt. Everest without climbing gear.

It is so easy to give up.

I always take notice when people refuse to give up. On my way home from work there is a donation station for charitable items. This is a rinky dink place that just opened up and from what I can tell, business is slow. Yet this man sits outside on a bench every-damn-day holding a sign saying "Clothing Donations Being Accepted Now". People just pass him by, or stare at him out of their car windows as they sit at the stop light (myself included). Some people, I'm sure, don't even realize that he is there. But he is there, every day. Every day he sits and he smiles and waits patiently for that one car to pull into the parking lot and make a donation. I have decided that tomorrow I am going to be that person. My couple bags of clothes and old board games might not be much, but it might be that small sparkle of hope that man needs in order to continue to sit and work for something that he has a true passion for. He wants to help others and he won't give up. No matter how many days go by that he gets no one, that day when he gets someone to donate makes all of those days worth it.

My mother is very similar to this man in her journey to spread the word of the Lord through being very active and dedicated to our church. Our church is EXTREMELY small; like 10 pews on each side small and has lost the majority of its funding. Weekly contributions sometimes do not break $300 and attendance is down. Attendance is so bad that we do not young adults to lead the procession of 3 choir members down the aisle or to light the alter candles. Funding is so low that we do not have a Pastor; instead, the church comes together and each person takes a turn preaching each week. And those that attend regularly, continue to attend. The church refuses to allow itself to give up, and it presses on as a church family week after week. My mother was the one chosen to preach on Sunday. Ironically enough she told the story of Hannah, a woman who could not conceive a child but that never lost her faith in Jesus and never gave up. Eventually, Jesus awarded Hannah a child. The message behind the reading was that we should not give up on things that we are passionate about, and that in time our goals will become realities.  Now, this amount of time might be very, very long or it could come with a stroke of luck. Either way, dedication remains the key to success.

Now, imagine if you lived your life with that kind of mentality day in and day out. It sounds draining, yet rewarding. If we never gave up on ourselves, imagine the things that we could accomplish.

Take ACTION!

Was there ever something going on in your life that you just HATED? I mean you really HATED it to the point where it completely consumed your thoughts, time, emotion, etc.? Even when it wasn't present, it felt like it was there!!!  It's like a visit from "that" family member..the one that just won't freaking leave!

UGH!

You ever just want to scream?

I know I do.

Sure, this blog is about motivation, inspiration, being positive, etc. but let's face it-even the most positive of people have a day where they just throw up their hands and say, "THAT'S IT! DONE FOR THE DAY!"  We all have those days.

I'm currently going through one of these situations myself, and I have been complaining, whining, crying, bitching, moaning, and groaning about it for quite some time. I allow it to consume all emotion from me on some days, and carry it home with me on others. Yesterday, I decided to practice what I preach to others and do something about it.

In reading Anthony Robbins's book Awaken the Giant Within the other day on the treadmill, I came across a quote that ignited this little spark inside of me (which, sparks grow into flames, flames grow into fires, fires grow into infernos, etc.) The quote said, "It is not where you start out, but the decisions that you make about where you're determined to end up that matter." Isn't that the truth? Think of all of the decisions you have made in your life: where to go to college, whether to stay in school, who to date, who to marry, who to divorce, whether or not to have kids, which job to accept and how each of those have affected your life. It is crazy to think of the web that we weave for ourselves throughout our lifetime.

Now, in the same regard think of the other decisions that you make in regard to your emotions. Feeling angry, feeling depressed, sad, upset, etc. etc. and think of the web that those weave: You get mad so you yell at the dog, stomp around the house, your significant other is afraid to come near you, you take it to work, have a negative attitude surrounding your tasks, vent to your best friend, bring them down, they go yell at their dog and husband, etc. etc. Every decision we make spins its own web; some webs are positive, and others are negative. The funny thing is those negative webs seem to grow at a lot faster rate than the positive webs do!

I realized yesterday that I had this HUGE negative web branching out from me right now, and that is NOT something that I want anymore. The book also says that, "you have to set standards for what you consider to be acceptable behavior for yourself, and decide what you should expect from those you care about. If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in your life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that is far below what you deserve." I realized that this negative thing in my life was literally controlling my life at this point. Tony says that we must TAKE ACTION, and sometimes we must take a massive amount to get what we want out of life. So, rather than sitting around bitching, moaning, and complaining (which I did sound off one last time last night) I decided that I was going to start taking action toward breaking down this negative web. The longer I let it go,the bigger it was going to get, the more work it would be to get rid of it.

So I started baby steps. I started taking that action toward something new in my life. I started exploring options, weighing pros and cons, and the funny thing is that every "con" that used to fuel my self-doubt got washed away when I set my standards for what was acceptable. Every "con" that made me afraid to make this move quickly vanished, because in the end it's not the money that's going to matter it's your sanity and at this point I'm about ready to be checked into a nut house :) It's time to move on (yes, I'm talking about my job).

So think about it. What in your life needs a change? What in your life is the center of this negative web (because we all have one somewhere). Take one step today toward changing it. Use the energy you would typically use to complain about it, and put it into a positive action to begin changing it.

If you are having similar problems in your life, I highly recommend you pick up Anthony Robbins book Awaken the Giant Within. I read a little bit every day and it is helping me find a voice and find the courage that I need to make my life what I want it to be.

Imagine the Possibilities

So, I had this random idea the other day that I started to employ in my own life just because it is something I am passionate about, but I felt like sharing it might help the idea to spread and thus benefit more people.

I love to help people. One of the most frustrating things for me is when I can't.  I love to motivate others towards their goals, and realize that their dreams can become a reality. I feel like one of the most wasted things in life is a person's own idea of their self worth. There are so many out there that do not have a support system.

The other day I went out onto some random Facebook group pages and poked around. I participated in the posts, because I wouldn't be on the pages if I didn't have an interest in what they were for, but then I went a step further. I read other people's posts. See, here's the funny thing: this keyboard and this monitor are a safety zone for so many people. Did you ever meet someone who could talk the biggest game over the computer but then didn't have the guts to say something to your face? The same can go for people sharing their goals and their dreams. Some people feel that an online community may be the only place they can go to let these things out.

So I looked for people going through milestones in their life, or struggles, or that were trying something new. I read through a LOT of posts, and chose three of them that I felt I could relate most to. I phyiscally messaged those people a very short "Congrats" "wishing you luck" "I have been there! You are going to do great!"...something along those lines.  I started by telling them that this message was probably random, but that I had been in a similar situation before, you will get through, you will accomplish this, etc etc...if you ever want to talk *insert topic here* feel free to message me back; if not I hope you have a great day and good luck!  The message was nothing detailed, it was nothing creepy. It was an honest well wish from my heart.

I actually got a message back. The girl had stated that my message made her day and that she didn't have much in the way of a support system for what she was doing (which was running her first 5K). Honestly, I wasn't expecting ANYONE to message me back, but it made me feel good that someone could RETURN the kind words. I don't think that happens enough.

So I got to thinking...if I did 3 people a day that would mean that I could positively influence 21 people a week; roughly 90 per month...1080 per year. Wow.

Imagine if other people had this mentality of just influencing 1 or 2 people per day...and you weren't looking for kind words back because all your end goal is, is to spread something positive rather than negative. Can you imagine the profound impact that could have?
I always say that you never know what another person is going through - even if they are always smiling. And you never know who is facing a struggle and just WISHING that someone would notice their hard work...imagine if you were that person. That little shining beacon of light that just randomly popped into their world and said, "Hey...you don't know me...but I believe in you...and you're going to do great."  It's like a random act of kindness but this is more: this could turn a person's day, outlook, even potentially life if it is an extreme enough case, around.

I know not everyone will agree with this post, and I don't expect you to. All I'm saying is to imagine the possibilities. How many times do we haphazardly flip somone the bird while driving, or mutter hurtful words under our breath when someone cuts us off, or how many times do we participate in hurtful gossip just to lift ourselves up? We can spit out those hurtful words and gestures without even thinking about them..and in doing so we are spreading negativity. Then that person is mad and they pass their bad attitude off onto a co-worker who takes it home to his wife, who takes it out on their children, etc. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration but many times something that evokes emotion in us turns into a chain reaction. All I'm saying is imagine if we focused on making that chain reaction a positive one.  Surround yourself with positive people and you will be come positive.  Once you do, reach out to others and "spread the wealth".

Be A Positive Influence

Last week, one of my role models (LeeAnne Locken) posted something great on her Facebook/Twitter account:

"Who you spend time with is who YOU become! If you spend time with people who are always unhappy, YOU WILL be unhappy! If you spend time with people who don't like to work, you will be unsuccessful! But if you look for people who you WANT to be like and spend time with them THAT is who you will become! It is easier for US to either lower or raise our standards then to try and have others adjust theirs! Look around your life today and SEE where you are headed! EVERY DAY there is an opportunity for CHANGE! Make it a WONDERFUL WINSday!!"

I love LeeAnne. She just gets it.

We all have our own role models out there that we look up to, and it's a shame to think that more young people do not look up to more positive influences, like LeeAnne , or many of the other motivational forces out there today. Could you imagine the possibilities if children started looking up to these individuals instead of some of these other "stars" out there? Or here's a thought...what if YOU started looking up to these individuals, and then your children started looking up to YOU. Takes on a whole new meaning now, huh?

How many of us are busy parents? How many of you are so busy with your careers or life outside the home that you almost "forget" that your kids are CONSTANTLY watching you? Now, we have all had a situation (maybe not with our own kids) where we have been sitting around with friends or family and out of nowhere we hear this cute, innocent little voice say, "Aw damn it!" Yep. Your kid picked up one of your bad habits (and sometimes it is SO hard not to laugh!)  Children are like sponges: they soak up EVERYTHING.

I remember one bad habit of my mother's that I imitated when I was 4 years old was smoking. This was back in the 80's, and my mom like many females out there, smoked. Well one day my mom was talking to her mother on the phone and she looked at me walking out of the kitchen with a pretzel rod, you guessed it, in between my fingers like a cigarette..."puffing" away. I said, "Look Mommy! I'm just like you!"  It was at that moment that I think my mom wised up, and began her journey to quit smoking (which she succeeded in doing, by the way). 

Sponges. We know they watch our every move. They are listening when you are talking poorly about others. They are listening when you fight with one another. They are always listening...so imagine...IMAGINE..the possibilities if we all became more positive.

Getting to the point of this post, we are who we surround ourselves with. LeeAnne made that clear in her post the other day...who you surround yourself with is who you will be. When you become an adult, your mind doesn't just magically stop becoming a sponge..it is still there..soaking in your external stimuli.  If you surround yourself with people who do NOTHING but GOSSIP and talk poorly on others, you will find yourself doing the same. If you surround yourself with people who constantly criticize themselves negatively, you will start to do the same. If you surround yourself with positive, upbeat individuals then guess what? Yup! That's contagious too!!

Cutting off the dead weight is a hard thing to do, but we have to realize that changing ourselves is a lot easier than changing someone else. Some people are just miserable; it's all they know how to be! You can try and push them in the right direction, but they are not going to change until they want to...and if that day isn't today, and you feel like changing TODAY, then it's time to cut those ties. Now, I'm not saying not be friends with those people, but become more cognisant of how you are when you are around them. Are you yourself? Do you find yourself lowering your standards in order to be on their level? Becoming aware of those things makes the shift much more simple.  If you can look at yourself when you are around certain people and say, "Ugh..I hate that" then why bother being around them so much? Why put yourself through that? Because remember, who we surround ourselves with is who we become...and then you become the dead weight people are trying to cut out of their lives. That becomes you!! Instead, be that source of motivation or inspiration. Be that friend that is hard to find, but that everyone wishes they had. Be that positive influence in someone's life today..and above it all: make today something special for yourself that you could look at and be proud of someone imitating.

KEEP YOUR SANITY! during any life challenge

Life challenges us on a daily basis.  From where we have to go, to who we have to meet, and right on down to what we have to eat - every day is a challenge. But what happens when the cosmics don't align, your stars are all out of wack, and there is not heads nor tails being made of everything? We give up. We join the spiral and rather than just spinning out of control, we spiral downward. We go back to negative ways of thinking ("There's no way I'm EVER going to get this all completed today"), poor eating ("Just call for a pizza"), and just flat out neglecting and punishing ourselves for things that might be out of our control.

The good news is, it doesn't have to be that way! Now, I'm not saying that  following these five tips are going to just turn your day right on around, but they are going to help to take some of the weight that you are feeling off of your shoulders, and help you get through your most stressful periods one day at a time.

Tip #1: Time Management - I have done a couple various posts about time management, but I cannot stress its importance enough. Yes, I know that there are going to be times where it doesn't matter how much effort you put in to your time management, you are still going to feel out of wack, control, and like there aren't enough hours in the day; but, if you feel like that after utilizing time management skills, imagine how you would have felt had you of never utilized them at all! That thought alone should be enough to prove to you that time management works.

 Tip #2: Be Your Biggest Fan - Don't go looking for a pity party, suck it up! Yes, I know you are beat. Yes, I know you haven't gotten much sleep lately. Yes, I know you feel like you are giving it everything that you have left inside of you..but don't ever tell yourself that you can't. Keep telling yourself that you can. Even if your are tip-toeing to the finish line, it is better than just sitting there doing nothing.

Tip #3: Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You UP - Those people who constantly rag on you, tell you what you "should" be doing, tell you that you aren't doing enough, or just like to constantly look down on you - remove them from your life. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible. Start gradually by just steering clear of them, and eventually they will become a complete non-factor in your life. Instead, hang around positive people who will keep your spirits and your mood up. We feed off of each other's moods, so naturally it is best if we are around those who have a more positive attitude

Tip #4: Commit to Something New- I know, right? Like you have time for that..but you do! Think of how many times you have found yourself in a stressful situation and you let it get the best of you; now this time get the best of it! Imagine how you will feel afterwards when it is all over and you are either still on track with your life, or even better than before.  Maybe throw in a new workout program (plenty listed on this site), go for a short walk each day, or commit to eating better (which has mood boosting capabilities on its own). You will thank yourself for it later.

Tip #5: BE YOURSELF - that person hiding under all of your stress is DYING to come out and play! Let them out! Be the person that you want to be. Be happy. Be fun. Be loud. Be crazy...do not let this situation take away your personality. Continuing to be yourself throughout a particularly stressful situation, is a great way to overcome the situation.

Always remember...take life one day at a time. And if that seemse like too much, take it one step at a time. Good luck!