Bite Your Tongue!: How Words Can Change Your Life

Hey there! Welcome to another blog entry. I hope when you are done reading you feel just a bit more fulfilled and uplifted than when you began :)

We always hear that words have power. Do you remember that saying from when you were little, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"?  It's a crock of crap. Words hurt. Words get into our psyche without us even KNOWING it...they are like stink bugs! Infesting the world around them.

But here's the really awesome thing about words: the negative ones can totally infest your life, take you to a dark place, and affect the world around you and turn it into a more negative place...but the positive ones can also totally infest your life, take you to a light place, and affect the world around you and turn it into a more positive place. So we need to learn how to pick and choose the words that fill our vocabulary.  Even JOKING about our appearance or our life can negatively affect our reality if those words are negative.

Gabby Bernstein sums it up beautifully (as always). Make sure you check out this video. Comment below on how you can start incorporating this practice into your own life. And while you are at it, make sure you subscribe to her YouTube channel

GabrielleBernstein

The Difference Between Your Passion and a J-O-B

I like to educate myself on the things I do, and while reading a blog titled, "10 Lessons Seth Godin Can Teach You About Blogging" by Neil Patel on quicksprout.com the difference was brought up between blogging because of your passion or blogging because of the money. This got the wheels turning for me...

What you do in your life, are you doing it because it's a passion or because it makes you money? If you are lucky enough, then whatever you do does both of these things, but for many of us that's not the case. Many of us hear the word, "passion" and feel like any passion has been sucked out of us. We don't even know what it means to have a passion or a dream anymore. Or! We know what a dream is: it's a dream. Something nice to think about, but the odds of it happening? Ehhh...not great!

And this is where we lose any chance we have of achieving anything that we want. The moment we succumb to the feelings of doubt, especially doubt in our own abilities, is the moment in which we have admitted defeat, stop trying, and barely find a reason to get out of bed in the morning other than to go sit in rush hour traffic on the way in to work. And if this is you, it's okay. It happens. I've been there. Totally fixable.

Find your passion. Go with it.

I'm not saying quit your job and go be a juggler because juggling is your passion, but hey! if you can get a business going with that and it can support you, by all means, my friend. Do yo thang!

Being real though, a passion creates a fire inside of you that keeps you moving forward towards your dreams when it feels like you can't. A passion gets you through those days at the office where you just want to throw your monitor out of the window. A passion can even get you away from that terrible office if you play your cards right, work hard, and get committed to it.

But there is a word of caution: your passion must remain your passion or you are doomed to fail. This isn't easy, especially once you start doing what you love full time. There needs to be a balance between keeping your passion your passion, and not doing too much that it becomes another J-O-B.

See, you should never want a vacation from your passion. It's what drives you. When you wake up in the morning, it is what you set out to do no matter what! It is something that FULFILLS some need inside that you have. And it does this without obligation, without stress, and without procrastination. That's your passion. Anything else is a job. And if you have turned your passion into a job, and it feels like a job, take it back to its roots. Why was it a passion in the first place? There's meaning behind what you are doing..you just need to find it.

The best way to keep it fresh? Always be learning about it. Always be challenging yourself in new ways to reach new heights with it. Always keep your eye on your "prize"...and while your eye is on it, throw in an added obstacle that you need to clear to REACH it because the more you push, the more you learn, the more you conquer, the stronger you become. When you are strong in an area, nothing can hold you back from achieving your dreams except yourself.

Do you have some crazy, amazing, uuber awesome dream but you aren't sure where to even START! Shoot me an email and let's talk nik4213@gmail.com

Sharing a gift with YOU!

Woohoo! It is an exciting day!

I am officially opening my 2013 health & fitness challenge groups today! Many of you are probably asking, "What the heck is a challenge group?" Well, I am here to tell you!

A challenge group is a small group of individuals who are dedicated to a common cause. In my case, the cause is health and fitness. My start came from a challenge group, and not only did I get great results during that time that I was in the group, but the results carried me on to new and exciting aspects of health and fitness.

A little about myself: I loved fast food. Loved it. I hated the way that I looked, though. I wasn't fat, but I was....puffy? Like, not fat but not toned, either. I would dabble around with workouts here and there. I got the gym memberships and would go and be a gym rat (see no results bc I didn't really have much knowledge at that time..just figured elipitcal and some weights here and there), did a ton of home fitness programs including Denise Austin, TaeBo, Carmen Electra...you name it, I probably have the DVD...but nothing ever really STUCK. I would always find myself hopping to the new trend, the new pill, the new WHATEVER and here I still sat...puffy and miserable.

My friend had asked me to join this accountability group and I figured, what the hell. It's January 2012..yet again, I'll try something new. This was a change! I got to be held accountable from my home office (no driving to meetings or embarrassing weigh ins), the accountability portion took me MAYBE 5 minutes out of my day, and these women were all so motivating and encouraging! There was no one watching me run in the mirror at the gym trying to be inconspicuous. There was no guy checking me out when all I wanted to do was work out. There were no time limits on machines, or now $39.95 each month for a gym membership that I stopped using. There was no driving to the gym after work, or on a Saturday morning. And there was no snarkiness from the members of the group.

This.Was. Awesome!

I was able to workout from home through a program that my coach recommended to me after I talked to her about my likes and dislikes..and what was great about that was that I actually enjoyed doing what I was doing. I wanted to pop in that day's DVD each and every day. And that kept me going. That mixed with the positivity from the group kept me going for ONCE in my life!!

Then I decided to do the same. I became a coach, and have been running fitness challenges throughout 2012 and gotten my challengers AMAZING results, and I take the challenge right along with you so it's not just you doing that workout that day..I'm doing the same one in my home!

So if you are READY to stop dabbling around and getting nowhere, if you are puffy, if you are unhappy with your appearance, if you are just looking for something that WORKS and somewhere where you can find all of the missing pieces to your puzzle, if you are looking for something that takes your time constraints into consideration...then please e-mail me (nik4213@gmail.com). I know, I know...you don't know me, it's weird emailing someone you don't know..but I swear to you I'm the most easy-going person you will ever talk to, haha, and I truly want to give everyone the chance that I got this time last year. My life has changed DRAMATICALLY and it all started from just making a choice to try a challenge group. 

I hope to hear from you! And if not, have the happiest of holidays, whichever one you might celebrate, and nothing but the best for you in 2013!

TurboFire Review (thus far!)

It really didn't surprise me the moment I hit Play on my DVD player and started to grin ear-to-ear. Something about a new workout DVD gets me super excited (I know, so lame!)  Now, I was starting my third workout program in Chalene Johnsons's workout series, TurboFire.

I started my little workout journey with her first series, TurboJam and quickly fell in love. TurboJam was like a workout class that I always imagined in my head. If I could take all of my favorite things and mix them into one workout, at that time it would have been TurboJam. It had everything: Great music, up beat/motivating instructor (sometimes I feel like she is speaking right to me!), and a mix of kick boxing and dancing as if you were the only one home and your favorite jam came on the radio. I was hooked.

After TurboJam I dabbled in a few other workout series and found myself back with Chalene in July of this year for ChaLEAN Extreme (see the tab marked Chalene Extreme for more info on that one). Yet again, loved it! Everything I could hope for and more!

Now it's TurboFire. I feel like TurboFire is the big sister to TurboJam. TurboJam is great for beginners because it starts off at a reasonable pace, and offers many modifications to up the intensity. TurboFire starts of high intensity and keeps getting more challenging, but with the same kickboxing, motivation, instructor, and dance-like-your-favorite-jam-came-on kind of feel.  TurboFire fuels my need for increased intensity and challenge as now various aspects of plyometrics are added into the mix to give you one hell of a full body cardio workout. You will be left breathless for sure!!!!

I would recommend this workout to people looking to lose weight FAST. This is a 90 day program, but with Chalene's motivation and the included workout calendar showing you which workout to do on which days, you are SURE to drop the weight that you are looking for. See the tab marked "Transformations" for some awesome TurboFire transformations. This product has been used by many moms looking to lose the baby weight and has been a huge success!

Interested in learning more? Head on over to my site to see the various purchase options and get started today! Pair it with Shakeology for an added boost and even better results! www.beachbodycoach.com/nik4213

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRGTuvoEgdA  <---CHECK OUT A PREVIEW HERE!

Never Giving Up is Half the Battle

In life it is very easy to give up.  We give up on saving money, because we'd rather have what we "want". We give up on marriages, because they seem doomed and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We give up on our goals and our dreams because the road that leads us to them seems about as difficult as trying to climb Mt. Everest without climbing gear.

It is so easy to give up.

I always take notice when people refuse to give up. On my way home from work there is a donation station for charitable items. This is a rinky dink place that just opened up and from what I can tell, business is slow. Yet this man sits outside on a bench every-damn-day holding a sign saying "Clothing Donations Being Accepted Now". People just pass him by, or stare at him out of their car windows as they sit at the stop light (myself included). Some people, I'm sure, don't even realize that he is there. But he is there, every day. Every day he sits and he smiles and waits patiently for that one car to pull into the parking lot and make a donation. I have decided that tomorrow I am going to be that person. My couple bags of clothes and old board games might not be much, but it might be that small sparkle of hope that man needs in order to continue to sit and work for something that he has a true passion for. He wants to help others and he won't give up. No matter how many days go by that he gets no one, that day when he gets someone to donate makes all of those days worth it.

My mother is very similar to this man in her journey to spread the word of the Lord through being very active and dedicated to our church. Our church is EXTREMELY small; like 10 pews on each side small and has lost the majority of its funding. Weekly contributions sometimes do not break $300 and attendance is down. Attendance is so bad that we do not young adults to lead the procession of 3 choir members down the aisle or to light the alter candles. Funding is so low that we do not have a Pastor; instead, the church comes together and each person takes a turn preaching each week. And those that attend regularly, continue to attend. The church refuses to allow itself to give up, and it presses on as a church family week after week. My mother was the one chosen to preach on Sunday. Ironically enough she told the story of Hannah, a woman who could not conceive a child but that never lost her faith in Jesus and never gave up. Eventually, Jesus awarded Hannah a child. The message behind the reading was that we should not give up on things that we are passionate about, and that in time our goals will become realities.  Now, this amount of time might be very, very long or it could come with a stroke of luck. Either way, dedication remains the key to success.

Now, imagine if you lived your life with that kind of mentality day in and day out. It sounds draining, yet rewarding. If we never gave up on ourselves, imagine the things that we could accomplish.

Take ACTION!

Was there ever something going on in your life that you just HATED? I mean you really HATED it to the point where it completely consumed your thoughts, time, emotion, etc.? Even when it wasn't present, it felt like it was there!!!  It's like a visit from "that" family member..the one that just won't freaking leave!

UGH!

You ever just want to scream?

I know I do.

Sure, this blog is about motivation, inspiration, being positive, etc. but let's face it-even the most positive of people have a day where they just throw up their hands and say, "THAT'S IT! DONE FOR THE DAY!"  We all have those days.

I'm currently going through one of these situations myself, and I have been complaining, whining, crying, bitching, moaning, and groaning about it for quite some time. I allow it to consume all emotion from me on some days, and carry it home with me on others. Yesterday, I decided to practice what I preach to others and do something about it.

In reading Anthony Robbins's book Awaken the Giant Within the other day on the treadmill, I came across a quote that ignited this little spark inside of me (which, sparks grow into flames, flames grow into fires, fires grow into infernos, etc.) The quote said, "It is not where you start out, but the decisions that you make about where you're determined to end up that matter." Isn't that the truth? Think of all of the decisions you have made in your life: where to go to college, whether to stay in school, who to date, who to marry, who to divorce, whether or not to have kids, which job to accept and how each of those have affected your life. It is crazy to think of the web that we weave for ourselves throughout our lifetime.

Now, in the same regard think of the other decisions that you make in regard to your emotions. Feeling angry, feeling depressed, sad, upset, etc. etc. and think of the web that those weave: You get mad so you yell at the dog, stomp around the house, your significant other is afraid to come near you, you take it to work, have a negative attitude surrounding your tasks, vent to your best friend, bring them down, they go yell at their dog and husband, etc. etc. Every decision we make spins its own web; some webs are positive, and others are negative. The funny thing is those negative webs seem to grow at a lot faster rate than the positive webs do!

I realized yesterday that I had this HUGE negative web branching out from me right now, and that is NOT something that I want anymore. The book also says that, "you have to set standards for what you consider to be acceptable behavior for yourself, and decide what you should expect from those you care about. If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in your life, you'll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that is far below what you deserve." I realized that this negative thing in my life was literally controlling my life at this point. Tony says that we must TAKE ACTION, and sometimes we must take a massive amount to get what we want out of life. So, rather than sitting around bitching, moaning, and complaining (which I did sound off one last time last night) I decided that I was going to start taking action toward breaking down this negative web. The longer I let it go,the bigger it was going to get, the more work it would be to get rid of it.

So I started baby steps. I started taking that action toward something new in my life. I started exploring options, weighing pros and cons, and the funny thing is that every "con" that used to fuel my self-doubt got washed away when I set my standards for what was acceptable. Every "con" that made me afraid to make this move quickly vanished, because in the end it's not the money that's going to matter it's your sanity and at this point I'm about ready to be checked into a nut house :) It's time to move on (yes, I'm talking about my job).

So think about it. What in your life needs a change? What in your life is the center of this negative web (because we all have one somewhere). Take one step today toward changing it. Use the energy you would typically use to complain about it, and put it into a positive action to begin changing it.

If you are having similar problems in your life, I highly recommend you pick up Anthony Robbins book Awaken the Giant Within. I read a little bit every day and it is helping me find a voice and find the courage that I need to make my life what I want it to be.

GIVING It More

Like the title of the blog states, sometimes you have to take what you're doing, and give it more. This can be in any aspect of your life. When you feel like you can't give any more....give it just a little bit more, then a little bit more after that.

A personal struggle that I suffer with is seasonal depression. I have dealt with this since I was a child and it seems to get more challenging as the years go on. It used to literally cripple me, keep me in the house all winter, sleeping over 15 hours a day. I would wake up, it'd be dark, and I'd figure, "Well no point in getting up now" and I'd just go back to sleep. There was no drive, there was no energy, there was no purpose as far as I could see. I was never suicidal with this...just COMPLETELY unmotivated to live any sort of fulfilling life. I know a lot of people can relate. It wasn't until I started opening up about this that I realized I am not alone in this boat of seasonal misery.

Every day is like an exhausting battle with myself. But that's a good thing! The battle means that I am giving it more, that I am not giving up, and that I am not giving in to this seasonal  pain in the ass. It means that I have refused to settle or accept what I am going through. It means that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired in the winter. It means that inside, I still want more. It means that I'm fighting.

Many people might say, "Maybe you should get on some medication." or "Maybe you should talk to someone about this." I disagree. If I am fighting, I'm fine (in my opinion). I have been on anti-depressants and I HATED the way that they made me feel. I also know that if I make myself (after much internal battle) get off my butt and do something that I feel better.

This is in no way a medical blog, just a blog of my personal experiences. Perhaps you feel the same way that I do as the winter months start to head in. Maybe you also do not want to go on meds because you feel that this is a manageable problem; if so, here are some of the things that I have been doing that seem to be helping elevate my mood on even the gloomiest of days:

1. Exercise. As Elle Woods proclaimed in Legally Blonde, "Exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't just kill their husbands!"  It's true. Some days it will take more exercise than others to elevate the mood. I had a day like this yesterday, but I would rather exert some energy doing something that is benefiting my body than wallowing in self pity under the covers and giving up.

2. Eat Clean. Again, this is not a medical blog, I am not a dietitian or a nutritionist, but the amount of articles that I have read lately about the crap that is in our foods is scary. Hormones are found within our foods that can alter our own chemical make up. Not to mention, there are some additives within foods that actually bring our  moods down. If you have ever watch the documentary Supersize Me, you will remember how Morgan Spurlock's mood was greatly affected as he ate McDonalds day in and day out. Yes, his situation was a bit on the drastic side, but as someone who does eat clean about 85% of the time, I can tell you that if I am in a situation that calls for repetitive fast food bouts, my mood changes.  When I eat clean, I feel clean. I feel light, I feel like my mood is better, I just feel more nutrient rich. When I eat like crap, I feel like crap. Not saying that this is the same for everyone, but for me this is how it works. So try putting more whole foods in your diets and see if that helps to lift your mood.

3. Go tanning. I'm not saying go every day and fake bake to the extreme. I do not tan to be "tan" (if you saw me you would know I'm definitely not tan), but I will go and lay in the bed for 10 minutes. It makes me feel warm, and cheers me up.  As a side note, I will not go more than 10 minutes. I do fully believe the tanning bed/skin cancer links and am one of those people when outside that wears SPF30+ (just didn't want people saying, "YOU ARE PROMOTING CANCER!" because, I'm definitely not!!)

4. Get outside. Whether or not it's cold, if it is sunny get outside and just enjoy the sun. Sunshine stimulates the production of Vitamin D. The sunshine and the outdoors can also help to raise your endorphin levels, cheer you up, raise your energy levels, and boost your mood.

5. Find a hobby that you enjoy. As lame as it sounds, I scrapbook all winter long. Looking at the photos from the summer and holidays passed helps me to remember that there is a ton to look forward to and that warmer/sunnier days are ahead!

6. Embrace the climate that you are in. This is the hardest for me, but I do try. I hate the cold. I hate the snow. I'm more of a palm tree and sunshine kind of girl; however, I do try and embrace the climate that I live in. I go snowboarding, and while I'm not very good at it, it is something that makes me smile. I also love ice skating outside, and there is just something special about running through huge snowflakes; it's like you are in a snowglobe.

Those are just some tips from me to you. Again, I'm not saying any of it is "scientifically proven" or anything like that, but it's working for me and I know I'm not alone out there.

If you have any additional tips that you would like to share about how you battle the "winter blues", please feel free to leave a comment below!

Just a Little Thought...

While reading my Grandma's journal the other night, I found this cute little poem. I'm not sure if she copied it from somewhere, or if she wrote it herself, but I thought it was great and def. wanted to share.

Just supposing we started this very day

T live our lives in a different way;

Just supposing we vowed and constantly tried

To help those in trouble-

On life’s wayside.

If we showed by our doings a hint of His love-

Wouldn’t Earth be a bit more like heaven above?

Monday: Look for a smile today and return it with one of your own

Tuesday: Gather a thought, a kind one that’s sincere and deep, but be sure to pass it along for such are too precious to keep.

Wednesday: Forget yesterday’s old sorrow, mistakes, sadness, and pain. Lift your heart with hope and a song, as flowers to the sun and rain

Thursday: Offer a word of comfort and prayer to help someone in need. A little thoughtful gift, some flowers or a smile makes us all rich indeed.

Friday: You shall not pass this way again, so do any good you can do. Don’t put it off till tomorrow or the chance may be lost for you

Saturday: Today will soon be a memory so don’t let it come to an end without a smile, without a song, or just a word with a friend

Sunday: Don’t let worry and care depress you, or brush the day’s joy away, but rise and give thanks to God above for His love and another blest day.

Time to Switch it Up

And a happy October to YOU!

So far, October has been a whirlwind of activity which is why I have not been on here very often. Work is killin' me, business is boomin', photography is going great, and there has been a ton to celebrate!

I love Fall...I think it's one of the best seasons around. Lately, however, it has been pretty darn cold around here. Last year we were spoiled with weather still well into the 70's in the Pittsburgh region around this time.  Fall means sweaters, scarves, hats, coats, and BOOTS! (wahoo!!) All sorts of baggy clothes to make you feel comfy and hide your, er, problem areas.

WRONG!

I think this is why so many people gain weight during the winter months is because of the clothing styles that are out there. When you are wearing shorty short shorts, tank tops, and swimsuits you are much more aware of your body than you are when you are wearing hoodies, sweats, and cow neck sweaters (are those still in style???). Many people turn to veggies and fruits in the summer because they are jam-packed of water, and they are a light snack. Who wants beef stew on a 95 degree day, right? Well, then the Fall chill sets in and we want comfort food. Mmmmm. Crockpot food...MMM! PUMPKIN PIE! OH YEAH!  All of these can lead to some serious weight gain if we are not cognisant of what we are putting in our bodies.

So what do we do? Do we just succumb to the Winter blues, gain that weight,and then totally freak out the first time its warm enough to wear last year's Capri pants and they don't zip? (GASP! NOT AGAIN!) Or do you take action now so next year your Capri pants STILL don't fit...but it's because they are falling off your body! I'll take Option #2, please.

One of the things I love about the fall, is the changing leaves. Now I understand not all of your are lucky enough to be able to experience this in your own town, but if you are GET OUT AND ENJOY THEM. How could you not love walking down this trail?

With Fall also comes rain, wind, and eventually snow and freeze as we get more toward the winter month. Often times, unless you are a die hard runner, you are moving your workouts inside...or maybe you just don't work out period. Well, it's time to start thinking about how this year is going to be different for you. Trust me, I love Lifetime movies as much as the other person. I love my Dexter, Real Housewives, and everything else that I watch when their new seasons come out in the Fall/Winter, but I use them as a reward for AFTER I do my workouts. How are you going to workout this Fall? How are you going to stay motivated? If the gym is not for you, or you have signed up before only to stop going, then I recommend you checking out some of the other tabs on this blog that house some great workout programs. You can also head right over to my website www.beachbodycoach.com/Nik4213  and checking out all that I have to offer.

Is lack of motivation your thing? I got your back! Anything you purchase from that link above comes with me :)  All wrapped up in a nice little package. Have you ever wanted a personal trainer but couldn't afford it, well tadaaaaaaaaaaaa! Here I am! I don't come to your house, I don't tell you to keep your knees above your ankles as I watch you do a squat, but I am here as your coach for motivation, support, tips, trick, recipes, you name it. I get you to where you are going. Period.

So if you are looking to change, if you are looking to try something new, I encourage you to take a look around on that site. If you have any questions, you can email me at nik4213@gmail.com.

Look, last year I was not who I am now. I was nowhere near it. I was unhappy, I felt defeated every day of my life. I wanted to give up. I wanted to just accept that I was the way I was, and then I found these programs and they CHANGED MY LIFE. The support I received from MY coach CHANGED MY LIFE. I would not be here week after week blogging about how to change your life or the lives around you, how to stay positive, and how to give everyday your all if I hadn't chosen one day to draw a line in the sand and start giving everyday of MY life MY all.  So if you are ready to do that, if you are ready to say enough is enough, and if you need a helping hand...please let me know.

Imagine the Possibilities

So, I had this random idea the other day that I started to employ in my own life just because it is something I am passionate about, but I felt like sharing it might help the idea to spread and thus benefit more people.

I love to help people. One of the most frustrating things for me is when I can't.  I love to motivate others towards their goals, and realize that their dreams can become a reality. I feel like one of the most wasted things in life is a person's own idea of their self worth. There are so many out there that do not have a support system.

The other day I went out onto some random Facebook group pages and poked around. I participated in the posts, because I wouldn't be on the pages if I didn't have an interest in what they were for, but then I went a step further. I read other people's posts. See, here's the funny thing: this keyboard and this monitor are a safety zone for so many people. Did you ever meet someone who could talk the biggest game over the computer but then didn't have the guts to say something to your face? The same can go for people sharing their goals and their dreams. Some people feel that an online community may be the only place they can go to let these things out.

So I looked for people going through milestones in their life, or struggles, or that were trying something new. I read through a LOT of posts, and chose three of them that I felt I could relate most to. I phyiscally messaged those people a very short "Congrats" "wishing you luck" "I have been there! You are going to do great!"...something along those lines.  I started by telling them that this message was probably random, but that I had been in a similar situation before, you will get through, you will accomplish this, etc etc...if you ever want to talk *insert topic here* feel free to message me back; if not I hope you have a great day and good luck!  The message was nothing detailed, it was nothing creepy. It was an honest well wish from my heart.

I actually got a message back. The girl had stated that my message made her day and that she didn't have much in the way of a support system for what she was doing (which was running her first 5K). Honestly, I wasn't expecting ANYONE to message me back, but it made me feel good that someone could RETURN the kind words. I don't think that happens enough.

So I got to thinking...if I did 3 people a day that would mean that I could positively influence 21 people a week; roughly 90 per month...1080 per year. Wow.

Imagine if other people had this mentality of just influencing 1 or 2 people per day...and you weren't looking for kind words back because all your end goal is, is to spread something positive rather than negative. Can you imagine the profound impact that could have?
I always say that you never know what another person is going through - even if they are always smiling. And you never know who is facing a struggle and just WISHING that someone would notice their hard work...imagine if you were that person. That little shining beacon of light that just randomly popped into their world and said, "Hey...you don't know me...but I believe in you...and you're going to do great."  It's like a random act of kindness but this is more: this could turn a person's day, outlook, even potentially life if it is an extreme enough case, around.

I know not everyone will agree with this post, and I don't expect you to. All I'm saying is to imagine the possibilities. How many times do we haphazardly flip somone the bird while driving, or mutter hurtful words under our breath when someone cuts us off, or how many times do we participate in hurtful gossip just to lift ourselves up? We can spit out those hurtful words and gestures without even thinking about them..and in doing so we are spreading negativity. Then that person is mad and they pass their bad attitude off onto a co-worker who takes it home to his wife, who takes it out on their children, etc. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration but many times something that evokes emotion in us turns into a chain reaction. All I'm saying is imagine if we focused on making that chain reaction a positive one.  Surround yourself with positive people and you will be come positive.  Once you do, reach out to others and "spread the wealth".

Be A Positive Influence

Last week, one of my role models (LeeAnne Locken) posted something great on her Facebook/Twitter account:

"Who you spend time with is who YOU become! If you spend time with people who are always unhappy, YOU WILL be unhappy! If you spend time with people who don't like to work, you will be unsuccessful! But if you look for people who you WANT to be like and spend time with them THAT is who you will become! It is easier for US to either lower or raise our standards then to try and have others adjust theirs! Look around your life today and SEE where you are headed! EVERY DAY there is an opportunity for CHANGE! Make it a WONDERFUL WINSday!!"

I love LeeAnne. She just gets it.

We all have our own role models out there that we look up to, and it's a shame to think that more young people do not look up to more positive influences, like LeeAnne , or many of the other motivational forces out there today. Could you imagine the possibilities if children started looking up to these individuals instead of some of these other "stars" out there? Or here's a thought...what if YOU started looking up to these individuals, and then your children started looking up to YOU. Takes on a whole new meaning now, huh?

How many of us are busy parents? How many of you are so busy with your careers or life outside the home that you almost "forget" that your kids are CONSTANTLY watching you? Now, we have all had a situation (maybe not with our own kids) where we have been sitting around with friends or family and out of nowhere we hear this cute, innocent little voice say, "Aw damn it!" Yep. Your kid picked up one of your bad habits (and sometimes it is SO hard not to laugh!)  Children are like sponges: they soak up EVERYTHING.

I remember one bad habit of my mother's that I imitated when I was 4 years old was smoking. This was back in the 80's, and my mom like many females out there, smoked. Well one day my mom was talking to her mother on the phone and she looked at me walking out of the kitchen with a pretzel rod, you guessed it, in between my fingers like a cigarette..."puffing" away. I said, "Look Mommy! I'm just like you!"  It was at that moment that I think my mom wised up, and began her journey to quit smoking (which she succeeded in doing, by the way). 

Sponges. We know they watch our every move. They are listening when you are talking poorly about others. They are listening when you fight with one another. They are always listening...so imagine...IMAGINE..the possibilities if we all became more positive.

Getting to the point of this post, we are who we surround ourselves with. LeeAnne made that clear in her post the other day...who you surround yourself with is who you will be. When you become an adult, your mind doesn't just magically stop becoming a sponge..it is still there..soaking in your external stimuli.  If you surround yourself with people who do NOTHING but GOSSIP and talk poorly on others, you will find yourself doing the same. If you surround yourself with people who constantly criticize themselves negatively, you will start to do the same. If you surround yourself with positive, upbeat individuals then guess what? Yup! That's contagious too!!

Cutting off the dead weight is a hard thing to do, but we have to realize that changing ourselves is a lot easier than changing someone else. Some people are just miserable; it's all they know how to be! You can try and push them in the right direction, but they are not going to change until they want to...and if that day isn't today, and you feel like changing TODAY, then it's time to cut those ties. Now, I'm not saying not be friends with those people, but become more cognisant of how you are when you are around them. Are you yourself? Do you find yourself lowering your standards in order to be on their level? Becoming aware of those things makes the shift much more simple.  If you can look at yourself when you are around certain people and say, "Ugh..I hate that" then why bother being around them so much? Why put yourself through that? Because remember, who we surround ourselves with is who we become...and then you become the dead weight people are trying to cut out of their lives. That becomes you!! Instead, be that source of motivation or inspiration. Be that friend that is hard to find, but that everyone wishes they had. Be that positive influence in someone's life today..and above it all: make today something special for yourself that you could look at and be proud of someone imitating.

KEEP YOUR SANITY! during any life challenge

Life challenges us on a daily basis.  From where we have to go, to who we have to meet, and right on down to what we have to eat - every day is a challenge. But what happens when the cosmics don't align, your stars are all out of wack, and there is not heads nor tails being made of everything? We give up. We join the spiral and rather than just spinning out of control, we spiral downward. We go back to negative ways of thinking ("There's no way I'm EVER going to get this all completed today"), poor eating ("Just call for a pizza"), and just flat out neglecting and punishing ourselves for things that might be out of our control.

The good news is, it doesn't have to be that way! Now, I'm not saying that  following these five tips are going to just turn your day right on around, but they are going to help to take some of the weight that you are feeling off of your shoulders, and help you get through your most stressful periods one day at a time.

Tip #1: Time Management - I have done a couple various posts about time management, but I cannot stress its importance enough. Yes, I know that there are going to be times where it doesn't matter how much effort you put in to your time management, you are still going to feel out of wack, control, and like there aren't enough hours in the day; but, if you feel like that after utilizing time management skills, imagine how you would have felt had you of never utilized them at all! That thought alone should be enough to prove to you that time management works.

 Tip #2: Be Your Biggest Fan - Don't go looking for a pity party, suck it up! Yes, I know you are beat. Yes, I know you haven't gotten much sleep lately. Yes, I know you feel like you are giving it everything that you have left inside of you..but don't ever tell yourself that you can't. Keep telling yourself that you can. Even if your are tip-toeing to the finish line, it is better than just sitting there doing nothing.

Tip #3: Surround Yourself With People Who Lift You UP - Those people who constantly rag on you, tell you what you "should" be doing, tell you that you aren't doing enough, or just like to constantly look down on you - remove them from your life. Easier said than done, I know, but it is possible. Start gradually by just steering clear of them, and eventually they will become a complete non-factor in your life. Instead, hang around positive people who will keep your spirits and your mood up. We feed off of each other's moods, so naturally it is best if we are around those who have a more positive attitude

Tip #4: Commit to Something New- I know, right? Like you have time for that..but you do! Think of how many times you have found yourself in a stressful situation and you let it get the best of you; now this time get the best of it! Imagine how you will feel afterwards when it is all over and you are either still on track with your life, or even better than before.  Maybe throw in a new workout program (plenty listed on this site), go for a short walk each day, or commit to eating better (which has mood boosting capabilities on its own). You will thank yourself for it later.

Tip #5: BE YOURSELF - that person hiding under all of your stress is DYING to come out and play! Let them out! Be the person that you want to be. Be happy. Be fun. Be loud. Be crazy...do not let this situation take away your personality. Continuing to be yourself throughout a particularly stressful situation, is a great way to overcome the situation.

Always remember...take life one day at a time. And if that seemse like too much, take it one step at a time. Good luck!

C'Mon Get Happyy!

I used to want to smack happy-go-lucky people. Seriously. You laugh, but you know you have felt/still feel the same way. I would look at them and say, "What are they so happy about? Must be nice to have no problems. You want to hear problems? I got problems.." And I trudged around like this day after day, making snide comments about these types of people and ignoring the cry from inside that I wanted to be one of them.

I wanted to be happy. I wanted to love every minute of life. I wanted to turn negatives into positives..but who was I to do that? I was just a girl going through some tough things that many don't EVER experience in their life at the age of 23, working my way further and further into the trenches of a drinking problem (that I admit was a problem, now, but back then I was in total denial) and just felt completely detached from the world more and more everyday.

I sought "treatment"..naturally..because that's what you do, right? Go the doctor, they prescribe you some crap to make you feel happy, and you're good to go! Well I didn't want the artificial happiness...I wanted the true kind. The kind that you can only find through yourself, and nowhere else.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and say that it's easy to find happiness every.single.day.  Days are hard, life is hard, but what you choose to do with your days can be easy. I'm not saying choose to skip out on work today and go to the beach just because that is what would make you happy (but if you DO decide to do that..please invite me), but choosing to take the high road, choosing to put a smile on your face, choosing to find a WAY to laugh when everything inside you wants to throw something across the room, is easy to do. Don't believe me?

Honestly..can you tell me that did not make you smile, or laugh? Did you know that just the ACT of smiling or laughing can brighten your mood?  So let's keep going with this...

aaand one of my personal favorites...

I mean seriously...it's that easy.

Look, I'm not a happy-go-lucky freak now because I have it all, because I have money, because my life is perfect, or any of those things! Trust me...NONE OF IT IS TRUE!! And I truly believe that none of that is true for any of my fellow bubbly individuals.  We are happy because we are CHOOSING to be happy. Stop it. Stop giving the same excuses I used in the first paragraph..because they are crap. Yes, I said it: crap.

Bottom line is-we all have problems...some much bigger than others, but we all have them. The question isn't how you react to those problems, because we all need to just "let it out" every now and again..the question is how do you make the effort to combat those negative feelings? How do you CHOOSE to be happy or miserable? Those three pictures above are things that I look for at work when I reach that "I can't take anymore today!!" moment. I give myself a break, go look at some funny junk out on the internet, get a nice laugh, and then I move on. Think about it: has your pissiness EVER made a situation go away or get better? Doubtful. Has a good attitude ever eased the burden of negative news? Have you ever consciously "Put on a a happy face" in order for people to not realize how you were really feeling...only to completely forget that you were miserable to begin with? Happiness has a powerful effect. And when you start to CHOOSE to be happy, you are CHOOSING to make the most of your life. The rest will just fall into place :)

Try some of these to turn your days around:
Watch a short YouTube clip of your favorite comedian. Dane Cook's "Kool Aid Man" always makes me smile "Naughty, naughty, kool aid!"

Put on some old school songs that "take you back" Ahh! Just push it!

Look at funny images on the internet

Pull up photos of places that make you smile. I surround myself with pictures of the beach and mentally go there everytime I need a break.

Take a walk. Even a short walk will release some endorphins!

Stretch It releases stress

Dance. Just do it. Especially if you're at home sulking alone. You are the only one there to judge yourself!

Sing at the top of your lungs ....Windows down or up is optional just consider those around you. Not everyone wants to hear your rendition of Journey's Don't Stop Believin'

Call a friend

Bitch it out.  Sometimes it's good to just let it all out there..it makes you feel 100 lbs lighter!

Youtube search the following: funny babies, funny pets, pranks gone wrong, funny pranks, Jenna Marbles (love her!), bad karaoke, grandmas dancing, ultimate fail

Stay the hell away from negative people! Moods are contageous....their misery should not be your misery!!